The Day After
by Jelsemium
Summary: It all started the day after Ant-Man invaded the Avenger's Facility and didn't get killed. Sam Wilson had to figure out how and when to break the news to the others. Meanwhile, Scott Lang has to face the most terrifying task of all time... Finding the perfect Christmas present for his daughter!
1. Chapter 1: Sam

**Avengers/ Ant-Man**

 **The Day After**

 **By Jelsemium**

 **Dedicated to Qweb! You're the best, sis!**

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Sam**

Sam Wilson wasn't sure what to do. That invader had gotten into the Avengers' Training Center and had taken... something.

He sighed. He _really_ didn't want Captain America to know that he'd let an intruder into the training facilities. Not that he thought that Steve would throw him off the team. (He wouldn't do that, would he?) He didn't even think that Steve would laugh in his face.

The laughing, however, would be preferable to the earnest expression that would cross Steve's face as Captain America assured him, the mere mortal, that everybody had an off day. Why, even he, Captain America had made a mistake... once... probably...

Then Steve would turn away and there would be only the slightest twitch of his deltoids to indicate that he was fighting down a laugh. Really? An Avenger? Defeated by ANTS?

Oh, god, the only thing that would be worse is if Tony Stark ever found out about it.

The worst part was the longer he delayed reporting the situation, the more embarrassing it was going to be. If the other Avengers found out before he had any more information, then Steve was going to give him that "disappointed" look.

So he had to find out what had been taken, but he had no idea how. There was nothing in the facility's computer about it. On top of that, the store room predated the internet and possibly databases.

Checking the security videos showed that the intruder hadn't gone in any of the areas that the Avengers were using. The item had been stolen from an unused … well, the only term that came to mind was "storage area" since it was too big to be a closet, too low to be an attic and not greasy enough to be a garage.

With no easy way for him to find the information there wouldn't be some montage of him hacking the database to the tune of some catchy techno-rock. Not that he knew how to hack into a computer, anyway. That meant he would have to get a look at some paper records. Assuming that there were any paper records.

Ironically, it occurred to him that having an army of ants would be useful in getting into a locked file room, a locked filing cabinet and then searching thousands of papers. He snorted at the thought of the ants reading the inventory lists.

He tried to ignore the thought niggling at the back of his mind that if he knew the Ant dude well enough to enlist his help, he wouldn't need to enlist his help. Maybe if he'd taken the time to actually talk to him, he could have found out who he was and what he had wanted.

Sam had searched the Avengers facility, but if there had been an inventory of that room anywhere, it was gone. He cudgeled his mind, trying to think of somebody who wasn't Stark who would know where all the records from the old Stark warehouse would have gone.

Pepper Potts, Stark's former Girl Friday/ Current CEO/ Lady Love would know. The problem with that solution is that he hadn't been introduced to her. There wasn't a casual way for him to approach her and ask a favor. At least, not without revealing more than he wanted to.

Face it, the only thing worse than confessing to Captain America that he lost to ants was confessing the loss to a beautiful woman. Cancel that, confessing the loss to the person that People Magazine had named "The Most Beautiful Woman in the World."

"Okay, Wilson," he muttered. "Think, who do you know who knows Tony Stark or Pepper Potts?" He was pacing through the halls of the Avengers' facility. The list of super powered 'folks' that he knew was painfully short. It consisted of Captain America, who knew Stark and Potts. The drawback to that plan was that Cap was exactly the man he didn't want to tell about this.

He'd met Iron Man (sort of), but he didn't know him well. Which is why he was now trying to think of somebody who knew the guy. At least, somebody who knew a guy who knew Stark... No, let's not start on that.

The Black Widow was as scary as Captain America, but in a more lethal way. He kind of knew Hawkeye and Thor, if you count seeing them across the gymnasium. He'd trained with Vision (which is why he classified the Avengers as super powered 'folks' rather than 'people').

Another of the newbies was the Scarlet Witch. She didn't know Stark well and she still might be bitter over the whole "We waited for three days for Stark to kill us." So she might be willing to aid in a foray against Stark. Her mental powers might be useful... He shook his head. Her ability wo read minds would only be useful if somebody had the inventory of the storage room memorized. That left... drum roll please... War Machine.

Oh, Hell, yes. He actually knew Colonel James Rhodes. They'd met at the party that Ultron had crashed. (And wasn't he just heartbroken that he'd missed that debut? Not really, but if he was going to be in the super hero biz, then he'd better get used to talking trash like that.)

"Okay, Falcon," Sam said. "You've determined the person who's most likely to be able to get at the inventory records of this joint. So, what's the next step?"

He supposed the simplest course of action would be to just call Rhodes. He frowned and ran that around in his mind. He couldn't find any flaws with that. Officers were humans, too. They answered the phone just like working grunts.

He flipped on his Stark Phone and scrolled through his contact list. The beauty of being an Avenger, aside from the military hours, the drills, the exile to upper New York state and, yeah, the ever popular possibility of getting squashed like a bug (yeah, Ant Dude, _squashed_ ) was having contact numbers for _all_ the other Avengers.

And damn, that witch was cute.

"Focus, Samuel," Wilson muttered. He paused, thumb hovering over Rhodes' contact number.

"Rhodes," was the crisp and prompt response. "What's up, Wilson? Problems?"

"Yeah," Sam said. He decided that telling the truth was in his best interest. However, he didn't have to deliver it in a believable manner. "The Avengers Facility just underwent a massive invasion of non-humans..." He didn't feel like he was lying to a fellow Avenger. Ants weren't human, after all.

He heard Rhodes draw his breath in with a hiss. Then, "Wait, if you're in trouble, then why didn't you send out a general alert?"

"I handled the situation," Sam said. (He'd handled it poorly, but there was no need to over share.)

"And did you gather any intel on these... invaders? Like, maybe what they were after?" Rhodes spoke as if he were waiting for a punchline. That probably went with knowing Stark for his entire adult life.

"That's kind of what I needed help with," Sam said. Suddenly, he had a reason to ask for what he wanted without going into details... Well, actually, by going into details without actually letting Rhodes know what the hell just happened.

"Go on," Rhodes said cautiously.

"They seemed particularly interested in one of the storerooms," Sam said. "I don't have any records of what's in there."

"Stark probably has some sort of inventory," Rhodes mused. "Since that building's so old, it's probably on paper."

"Yeah," Sam said. "Thing is, I don't know the man very well..."

"You want me to ask him for inventory records?" Rhodes guessed.

"Yes, please," Sam said.

"Okay," Rhodes said. "I think I can beard Iron Man in his lair. Couple of things, though."

"Yeah?" Sam said noncommittally.

"First, what the hell invaded the facility?" Rhodes demanded. "If it had been aliens or robots or giant insects, all sorts of alarms would have gone off."

"It was ants," Sam informed him.

"Ants?" Rhodes asked incredulously. "If giant ants had attacked, then the alarms should have gone off..."

"Well..." Sam said. "They weren't, um, giant."

There was a pause. "We were invaded by regular ants?" Rhodes asked incredulously.

"Well, yes," Sam said.

"Normal sized, ants?" Rhodes asked, as if not believing his ears. Sam couldn't blame him because he was having problems wrapping his mind around that himself. If he was going to be an Avenger, he supposed he'd better get used to this sort of thing.

"Yes."

"So, why are you calling for help?" Rhodes asked, reasonably enough.

"Um, there were a lot of them," Sam said. "And why the sudden interest? As far as I know, nothing's been put in there for decades."

There was another pause. "Could be something's started leaking," Rhodes said thoughtfully. "Or maybe some electronic gadget started broadcasting."

"Think I should call Cap?" Sam asked.

"No," Rhodes said. "I think we can handle this. Give me a few hours to get over to Stark and pry the paper records out of him. I'll need to think of some way to convince Stark that it's his idea to hand them over, if you know what I mean."

After Rhodes hung up, Sam said. "Yeah, I know exactly how that goes, Colonel."


	2. Chapt 2: War Machine & Chapt 3: Pepper

**The Day After**

 **Chapter 2: War Machine**

Colonel James "Rhodey" Rhodes, AKA War Machine AKA Iron Patriot (not!) was familiar with the embarrassing task of asking Tony Stark for favors. The best way was to not even try and just ask Pepper Potts.

The best way to get Pepper to do a favor and not tell Tony was to tell her it was something he didn't want Tony to know about. The direct approach worked with some people, especially when phrased politely. Pepper was one of those people.

"There's something strange going on in one of the storage rooms at the upstate facility," Rhodey told her.

"Define something _strange_ ," Pepper requested. "Are we talking about needing to call in the exterminators, the National Guard, the Ghost Busters or… No, if you needed the Avengers, you'd have already called them."

"Right," Rhodey said. "Amazingly enough, the idea of calling the exterminators comes closest."

"So, you have bug problems?" Pepper asked.

"Ants, actually," Rhodey said. "We're wondering why they're so interested in the one store room. Do you have any idea where we could find an inventory?" He hoped she wouldn't think to ask why they hadn't just searched the room because then he'd have to explain that it's not easy to search for something that isn't there any more.

"Not off the top of my head," Pepper said. "Let me do some checking."

"Great, thanks a lot, Pepper," Rhodey said. He ended the call before she had a chance to think of any questions. Of course, that gave him plenty of time to think of questions. Sam had some explaining to do.

 **Chapter 3: Pepper**

It only took Pepper "My Avenger Level Power is Organization" Potts an hour to locate the end of the paper trail and find the boxes of records dealing with the facility. It turned out that there was only one box. It was ten inches high by twelve inches wide by fifteen inches deep that was so stuffed with papers that Pepper could have held it upside down without worrying about anything except the papers lying on top falling out.

She speculated that there had been more than one box at some point, but everything had been crammed into this one box to save space.

"And you want these for what reason?" Tony asked her in almost reasonable tones.

"I don't want these," Pepper said with her usual exaggerated patience. "I want to get rid of them. I'll have Iron Mountain pick them up..." Inwardly she smirked because she knew that the only thing that Tony hated more than people handing him things was people taking his stuff.

"Whoa, whoa!" said Tony. He waved his hands at her. "You can't just toss away those records. There could be valuable information in there."

Pepper shrugged. "I doubt it," she said. "That old warehouse has sat empty for a long time. It was probably filled with trash."

Tony stared at her aghast. "What? That place held my old man's crap... I mean, projects. There's probably all sorts of interesting and... even valuable items in there!"

Pepper shoved the box in his direction. "Very well, then _you_ sift through the inventory lists!"

Tony reared back as if she were trying to hand him a basket full of litigious cobras. "Oh, hell, no," he said. "That's a job for the newbies! Send it back to the facilities and tell them they've got to do some house cleaning."

Pepper narrowed her eyes and again thrust the box towards him.

Tony stumbled back a step, holding up his hands defensively. "I'll call Rhodey... No, you call Rhodey. He'll only laugh at me." He all but ran out of the room. Pepper managed to keep a straight face until he was completely gone.

"Well played," Jarvis' smooth voice said.

"Don't tell him that I fooled him," Pepper asked.

"Indeed, I will not," Jarvis said. "Although I'm uncertain as to why there needs to be a secret about this."

"I don't either," Pepper admitted. "But whatever this is about, Tony doesn't need to know." Then she went to her office to call Rhodey.


	3. Chapter 4: Things Look Black

**Chapter 4: Things Look Black**

Rhodey arrived at the training facility in a very low key fashion.

"A minivan?" Sam Wilson asked. "I can't believe that you drove here in a _minivan_!"

"Unlike some metallic millionaires, I don't see the need to fly everywhere in my suit," Rhodey replied.

"I thought he was a billionaire?" Sam asked.

"I was using poetic license to be alliterative," Rhodey huffed. "Do you want to see what is in this box or not?"

Sam held up his hands in surrender. "I do," he said. "And I appreciate you getting this for me." Under his breath, he added, "But a _minivan_?" He lowered his hands and reached for the box.

Rhodey pulled the box away from him. "Uh, no," he said. "You're not getting this."

"What? Why not?" Sam asked.

"I was going to let it slide, since I try not to emulate Mr. Snark," Rhodey explained. He drew out the "sn" part of snark until he was almost snarling. "But since you're going to make fun of my ride, you are now obliged to tell me the entire story."

"I told you..." Sam said.

"And you left something out," Rhodey said flatly. "If the only problem was ants getting in here, then you could have just followed the trail of ants to their target and opened up the box to see what they were interested in."

Sam started to deny it. Then he winced. "I didn't think about that," he sighed. "Not that it would have helped me, they cleared out before I figured out which room they'd been in."

Rhodey studied him with alarm. "What. Are. You. Hiding?"

"There was a man with them!" Sam blurted out. "Actually, the ants were with the man."

"You said it was a non-human invasion," Rhodey said dryly.

"One man is not an invasion!" Sam said defensively. "A hundred thousand or so ants is!"

"So, a normal man..."

Sam cursed. "Here, come see the security video. Then tell me how to flippin' delete it before Steve and the others bust a gut laughing."

If Rhodey was amused, he hid it well. "I don't see why you'd want to hide this," he said. "You didn't do too badly for a guy who was blindsided by something we hadn't anticipated." He cocked his head to one side. "I guess that was redundant."

Sam didn't answer, he was busy rummaging through the one measly storage box. He tried to, anyway. The papers were so tightly packed that he decided that he needed a box cutter and said as much to Rhodey.

"Do we have box cutters?" Rhodey asked.

"Good question," Sam said. "Let's find out." They went into the office and rummage around. They found some letter openers, but didn't find any box cutters.

"Bah," Sam said. "Time to get rough." He grabbed a handful of folders and managed yank them out. This made it easier to access the rest of the papers.

"Well done, Avenger!" Rhodey said teasingly.

Sam rolled his eyes. "I just lost to an ant," he said. "I can't lose to a box... shit!" He pulled his hand out and sucked on his index finger. He glared at Rhodey. "Don' say it," he mumbled.

"What?" Rhodey said innocently. "Say anything about you getting a paper cut? 'Tis an honorable wound, as Thor would say."

"You don't see Thor getting a paper cut," Sam said sulkily.

Rhodey wasn't so amused when he got a paper cut later. But after a couple of hours of wresting papers and bandaging their honorable wounds, they managed to eyeball every piece of paper in the box. At least, the papers that were still there.

"Funny, some of these files look like they've been chewed up," Sam said, holding up a ragged edge as an illustration.

"Like maybe ants got into the file box?" Rhodey asked.

"I was thinking termites?" Sam said uncertainly. "I don't know what eats paper." He could look it up on the internet, of course, but he really didn't think it was germane at this point. Apparently nothing was. He lifted the last sheet of paper from the box, only to find that it was a receipt for gasoline.

He looked at the receipt hopefully. "This is a cash transaction, damn it." He tossed it back into the box. "There's nothing here," Sam said, feeling defeated.

"Maybe there is," Rhodey said. He held up a folder with some sheets stapled to the inside.

Sam took the folder and frowned at it. The folder wasn't marked. There were no sheets, only stubs where the paper had been ripped out.

"Check out the very top, under the leftovers," Rhodey said.

Sam pulled at the stub. "H. Pym?" he read.

"Somebody went to a lot of trouble to hide that," Rhodey said. "And I've heard that name before." He frowned. "I'm not sure where."

"Well, let's see what the World Wide Web has to say about Mr. H. Pym," Sam said.

They soon learned all about Hank Pym, including the battle at his former headquarters, Pym Tech.

"So, he's an inventor," Rhodey said thoughtfully. "He and Tony's dad didn't get along." He frowned. "I would have thought that that would have ensured that Pym and Tony would have been besties."

"Focus, man," Sam said. "Why would the information be pulled out of the box?"

"I don't know," Rhodey said. He was tapping away at an Official Avengers computer station. "However, we may not need to know why it was redacted."

Sam jumped up. "Why? What have you got?" he asked.

"I checked police records to see if Pym had, you know, a record," Rhodey said.

"And?" Sam prompted.

"Patience, young grasshopper," Rhodey said. "Pym doesn't have a record."

Sam threw himself back into his chair. "Yeah, so why bring it up?" he asked, expecting a lecture about thoroughness.

"Because there was a break-in at his house not too long ago," Rhodey said. He gestured to the screen. "This is the guy. Look familiar?"

"Yes!" Sam said. He jumped up and gave a fist pump of victory. "That's the guy!"

"The guy who did what?" a sultry voice asked curiously.

Sam felt like banging his head against the desk.

"Oh, hi, Natasha," Rhodey said, striving for casualness. He knew he'd failed miserably even before Natasha sauntered over to the computer screen.

"So, who is he and what has he done besides breaking into this... Henry Pym's mansion?" She looked taken aback for a minute. "Who the hell has a mansion any more?"

"He broke in here," Sam blurted.

Natasha's gaze became icy. "And you didn't report this because...?"

"Because we wanted more information before we sounded the alarm?" Rhodey asked, voice only rising just a trifle.

Natasha Romanov was the only person Sam Wilson knew who could threaten somebody with a lift of her eyebrow.

"He can shrink to the size of an ant," Sam added, trying hard to keep his voice from squeaking.

This caught her attention. "Really," she said. She frowned. "There were rumors about a man who could shrink things, and people," she mused. "He could command insects, too."

"Like ants?" Sam asked.

"Exactly," Natasha said. "So, he came here, why?" She frowned at the screen. "That can't be him. He's too young."

"This guy and his ants raided the facility," Sam said. "He said that he needed something that was in one of the store rooms and that the fate of the world depended on it."

Rhodey looked at him sharply. "Talk about burying the lead!" he complained. To Natasha, he said. "We think he's working with this man." He gestured to the screen.

"Or maybe against him," Sam said. "Since he apparently broke into his..." Sam realized that he was being unclear and amended his statement to. "The ant guy apparently broke into the old guy's house."

"Well, I guess we need to find out who these guys are and why they're working together or against each other," Natasha mused.

Rhodey and Sam exchanged looks. "So, you're with us?" Sam asked.

"Sure," Natasha said. "It should be fun." Her grin shouldn't have been as scary as it was.


	4. Chapter 5: Scott

**Chapter 5: Scott**

Dedicated to: AlyCat3, bookishangel, La chica distraida. Molly2853, PhiraLostflame, Pirates16103, rakat14, Saqin, shikasgirl10, SMH0217 and most of all... QWEB!

And also dedicated to Book Girl Fan for pointing out a rather embarrassing error! Thanks for the heads up!

A/N: I looked up all the toys, all but one actually exist.

* * *

Scott Lang was counting his blessings. First up, he was not stuck on Mars by himself. (Okay, he and his daughter Cassie had just seen The Martian, again.) The next blessing was not being in jail or on the run from the authorities. Third up, his ex-wife and her boyfriend were actually on speaking terms with him. So the problem with him being behind in child support was being handled amicably rather than _litigiously_.

He figured that those blessings were probably all he could expect for Christmas. Unless his wombat crew got him something. He really didn't expect anything from his ex, her boyfriend or even his daughter.

That didn't mean that he wasn't planning on giving Cassie some gifts. And by some, he meant a lot of gifts. The hot item for girls of the Holiday season were the princesses from the Disney movie, Frozen. Scott knew Cassie better than to expect her to want princesses. He expected her to be more action oriented, so he had bought a Black Widow action figure.

Paxton, on the other hand, had acquired the Frozen princesses in October. Then they had found out that Cassie wanted the Agent Carter vs. Madam Hydra action set, including a set of matching red fedoras, one for the Agent Carter Doll and one for her.

Scott and Paxton had been alarmed, but then Scott noticed that the Black Widow doll was also on Cassie's list. That meant that he was off the hook. As much off the hook as a doting father could be when faced with the prospect of a sad-eyed child on Christmas.

To think, Scott had once thought that Cassie's fascination with Peggy Carter was a blessing. One reason was that gave Cassie a female role model who didn't wear leather catsuits. The second was that she inspired Cassie to get straight 'A's' in history. Sadly, there were several drawbacks to Cassie's obsession.

The first drawback was that the Agent Carter vs. Madam Hydra action set was out of Scott's price range. Fortunately, Paxton and Maggie could afford it. It was a blow to Scott's ego, but he'd settle for giving the second best Christmas gift as long as Cassie was happy.

The second drawback was that almost nobody had the set. It was on back order even from Amazon, Toys R Us, and FAO Schwartz Online. There was only _one_ store in town that had an Agent Carter set because it had been returned. Actually, the current owner hadn't actually returned it, _yet_. The reason for the return was that Luis _knew_ a guy, who _knew_ a guy, who _knew_ somebody who was willing to return the set to _that_ store.

Now, all Paxton had to do to avoid a Christmas Catastrophe was to get to Toy Town, USA before somebody else got to the set. The trouble was, the exchange had to go down that Friday, at 1 PM, because that's the only time before Christmas that the current owner could get to the store. That wouldn't normally be a problem, because Paxton's schedule was usually flexible enough that he could choose his own lunch hour.

This did not apply when he had to be in court.

"Really?" Scott said. "You have to be in court the day after Thanksgiving? What kind of scrooge insisted on that?"

"Never mind who's responsible," Paxton growled. "Can you get to the damn store or not?"

"Well, the good news is that I have a little time on my hands," Scott said. "I could do your errand... in return for a really nice Christmas present."

"You know your Christmas present is probably just us forgiving a month or two of back child support, right?"

"I'll take that and partial credit for the Agent Carter set," Scott said.

"Done," Paxton said.

"Pleasure doing business with you," Scott said. "So, while I'm running errands, do you need me to pick up your dry cleaning or some groceries or anything?"

Paxton snorted. "No, thanks, Scott. Just pick up that Agent Carter set for our shared daughter."

"Hey, no problemo, Paxton," Scott said. "Just remember that I get the lion's share of the father love from Cassie."

"Uh-huh, Paxton said noncommittally," Paxton said. "Wait, on second thought, I _may_ need you to pick up a little package from the jewelry store for the girl we do _not_ share."

"That's brilliant," Scott said with genuine admiration. "Maggie won't suspect me of hiding her Christmas present."

"So, she was as bad about prying into gifts back then?" Paxton asked, amused.

"Oh, hell, yeah," Scott said. "It's impossible to keep secrets from her."


	5. Ch 6: ATM of Doom, Ch 7: Meanwhile

**Chapters 6: The ATM of Doom**

Thanks to Qweb, AlyCat3 and Guest for reviewing. Thanks to bookishangel, Ima Kara Tabi e, La chica distraida, Leira857, molly2853, PhiraLostflame, Pirates16103, rakat14, Saqin, shikasgirl10, Singer Sira, SMH0217, Snowy19 for reading!

* * *

Not too long ago, Scott would have had to take at least two buses, and probably done some sprinting to get to that store at noon. These days all he had to do was pick an ant and... well... Bob's your uncle, so to speak.

He picked out the biggest, baddest ant in his stable, dubbed him Donner, and flew to the rescue. The best part was that he'd be able to use the Pym particles to shrink the toys, because there was no reason not to buy Cassie another present or two while he was there, right?

Surely, Cassie's Agent Carter Doll needed some companions besides the Captain America figure that Maggie had bought her for her birthday. Oh, who was Scott kidding? He was buying Dum-Dum Dugan. If he had the money, he'd be buying all the Howling Commando dolls... err... action figures. Well, he would as soon as he could find them.

Scott arrived at 11:30. He knew he was early, but he didn't want to risk missing his window of opportunity. First he asked the clerk if they had any more Agent Carter sets.

"No," the dark haired girl said sympathetically. "We sold the last one last month for Halloween. They're on back order, but I don't think that they'll get in before Christmas."

"Fudge," Scott said.

"I can put your name on the list," the girl, whose name tag read "Juliana."

"A waiting list?" Scott said. "Really? How many people are on it?"

Juliana rummaged under the cash register and pulled out a clipboard. "Um, there are seven people in line ahead of you," she said. "But don't worry, the order is for a dozen."

"Right," Scott said. He cursed mentally. A waiting list meant that when the set was returned, he _still_ wouldn't be able to buy it. It would be set aside for the first person on this list. This called for desperate actions.

He set his ants on guard in the parking lot. The only way that this was going to work was if he intercepted the returnee and paid cash for that... dratted... Agent Carter set. The trouble with that is that he would need cash.

He didn't have any cash on him. That's why the plan had been for the Returnee to bring the set back to the store. He might have enough in his account, so he needed to hit the ATM machine for sixty-five dollars if it dispensed fives, eighty dollars if it didn't.

Sadly, the ATM machine wasn't dispensing any money.

"Oh, Julie?" Scott called. "Your ATM is out of order."

"I know," Juliana said. "I have an order for a technician, but it's his busy season, go figure."

Scott made a wry face. "Yeah, go figure. Do you know where the nearest working ATM is?"

Juliana shook her head. "I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with this area," she said.

He wandered around the store trying to figure out a way to get sixty-three dollars in cash before his returnee showed up. There had to be other ATMs nearby, but he didn't know where they were. He didn't know when the Returnee would show up. Once that Agent Carter set was back in the computer system, it would be out of reach for anybody but a burglar.

Scott shook his head. "No, dummy," he muttered. "Giving Paxton a stolen toy to give to Cassie for Christmas? That would put me on Santa's naughty list for sure."

So, what to do? A lot of stores would allow cash back with purchase. "Say, Juliana, what's your cash back policy?"

"Um, you can get up to twenty dollars with purchase," Juliana informed him.

"Got it," he paused, thinking quickly. "Wait, what if I made more than one purchase?" He gave her his most charming smile.

Juliana rubbed her chin as she thought that over. "Well... if you used different credit cards, I suppose I could do that," she said slowly.

"Thanks," Scott said. Unfortunately, this was going to have to be a spending spree, he decided. He couldn't just buy a five dollar item. Fortunately, toy stores were used to people browsing. In fact, they even encouraged it. So Scott went browsing.

Unfortunately, there were no Howling Commando dolls, er, action figures. Nor were there any Avengers figures, Fantastic Four figures, Inside Out figures or even any

Fortunately, he had other presents to buy besides Cassie's. Unfortunately, they were all adults. It might not be appropriate to buy toys for them. Fortunately, he already had a reputation for being inappropriate. Everyone but Hope would get a toy this year. Even he wasn't _that_ inappropriate.

Cassie, Luis, Dave and Kurt were all getting Star Wars Lego sets. Scott decided that three sets made for decent purchase. So he wandered up to the cash register and used his ATM card.

"Would you like some cash back?" Juliana asked mischievously.

"Why, thank you, miss," Scott said. "I'll take a twenty, please."

* * *

 **We interrupt Chapter 6 to bring you a special showing of Chapter 7: Meanwhile, Back at the Avengers Upstate Facility...**

Little did Scott know that as soon as the sale was completed, Hacker Claus, in the form of Natasha Romanov, would get a ping on her computer. (She knows when you've been bad or good, so be good because you wouldn't like her when she's angry.)

Earlier, the Avengers had debated about catching up to Lang.

"How do we find him?" Sam asked. "He doesn't have an address. He doesn't seem to be staying with his ex-wife or with Pym."

"He might be staying with friends," Rhodey said. "Maybe even sleeping with the ants."

"That's just sick, man," Sam said. "We can't just ask his parole officer, can we?" he grumbled, half hoping for a 'no, we can call his parole officer."

"Not unless we want our … project … to become official," Natasha said. Why she had agreed to keep this on the low down was beyond Sam, but he wasn't going to push his luck by asking. "Fortunately, all we have to do is tag his ATM and credit cards and wait for him to use one."

"Cool!" Sam said enthusiastically. "I feel like I'm on an episode of Hawaii Five-0!"

"What if Cap asks why we … I mean... you tagged Lang's cards?" Rhodey asked.

Natasha grinned nastily. "Nobody asks about _my_ business," she assured him.

Rhodey believed her. He also needed to use the restroom, so he left them to monitor the computers for a few minutes while he "checked the perimeter."

Sure enough, Lang finally used his ATM card.

"Got him," Natasha said with satisfaction.

"He's in a toy store?" Sam asked, shocked.

Rhodey and Natasha gave him disgusted looks. "There's less than a month to Christmas and he has a daughter," Rhodey said.

"Oh, right," Sam said, crestfallen. "I guess I'm having a hard time picturing a super villain as being a family man."

"Super hero," Rhodey said. "Considering what happened over at Cross Industries, he was telling the truth about the saving the world thing." He clapped Sam on the shoulder. "Besides, it's better to be flattened by a fellow super hero than to lose to a pint sized..."

"Ant sized..." Natasha corrected.

"... Ant sized super villain," Rhodey concluded.

If Scott had known about their interest, then he might have gotten cold feet and fled, leaving behind the prize of prizes.

* * *

 **We now return you to your regularly scheduled Chapter 6:**

Scott couldn't decide what to get Hank, so he consulted Juliana. "I suppose its silly to buy a toy for an adult," he said.

"Oh, no," Juliana said. "In fact, those people ahead of you on the Agent Carter list are all adults."

Scott frowned. "Wait, you mean that adults are buying these for kids, right?"

Juliana shook her head. "No, they're adults buying them for themselves," she said. "Wait, you mean that you're buying this for a child?"

"My daughter, in fact," Scott said proudly. "She's a pistol. She doesn't want to be a princess when she grows up, she wants to be Agent Cassandra Lang."

Juliana didn't smile as anticipated. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "If I could move you to the top of the list, I would!"

Scott shook his head. "Don't worry about it," he said. "Anyway, what do you suggest for my older, retired scientist type friend?" He hesitated. "It's kind of a joke," he added.

"I would go with a radio controlled vehicle of mass destruction," Juliana said thoughtfully.

"I like the way you think, Julie," Scott laughed. "Where are those? I'd like to take a look at them."

"Aisle Four," Juliana said.

Scott wandered over to Aisle Four to check out the radio controlled toys. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a stupid fine red-head strolling through the store, checking out the offerings. Scott had to drag his head back into the game.

He decided against getting a vehicle of mass destruction on the grounds that Hope would get her hands on it and use it against him. That thought was enough to make him shudder. Instead, he chose the Cyber Boxing Robots. They reminded him of the Rock 'em, Sock 'em Robots he played with, only without the boxing ring. He figured that he and Hope would have as much fun with them as Hank would.

He then spotted two Robotikits and debated between them. The Educational Motorized Robot kit was on sale. However, the Transforming Solar Robot kit was, well, solar powered. That would save money on batteries. He decided on the solar power for Cassie, because it was important for her to become acquainted with alternate energy sources.

Besides, it looked like the solar kit was more fun.

He grinned at Juliana's expression of surprise when he came back with two toys. "One for my friend, and one for my daughter" He winked.

"Do you think your ex will mind you buying so many toys?" Juliana asked curiously.

"I certainly hope so," Scott said. Not because he was bitter about Maggie barring him from seeing Cassie. Oh, no, he got over that a long time ago, sort of. They were getting along fine now. He hoped they were getting along well enough for him to borrow enough money to pay for all these toys.

* * *

A/N:

All toys mentioned in this chapter are real except for the Agent Carter set.


	6. Ch 8: Shopping Spree, Ch 9 Cliffhanger!

**Chapter 8: (Because Chapter 7 is in the middle of Chapter 6)**

 **The Shopping Spree**

 _Many thanks to… QWeb, AlyCat3 , bookishangel, Demi-Fae, Eira Day, Ima Kara Tabi e, La chica distraida, Leira857, MGA-Middy, molly2853, NoLiFe97, PhiraLostflame, phoenix saturne, Pirates16103, rakat14, Saqin, shikasgirl10, Singer Sira, SMH0217, Snowy19, SumGuyOvahDere, theoakleafbearer!_

* * *

Since he could only get twenty dollars cash back per purchase, Scott needed to make three purchases. Each of them had to be more than twenty dollars, so far he was managing to handle that because this toy store had lots of fantastic things to buy.

He had two credit cards and his ATM card. However, he ran into a snag when he tried to pay for the robots.

"I'm sorry, Scott," Juliana said, and really did sound sorry. "This card is expired."

"What?" Scott said. "Oh, _felgercarb_ ," he muttered.

Juliana stifled a giggle.

"Yeah, well, I have an impressionable daughter," Scott said. "I can't afford to be a worse influence than I already am!"

Juliana grinned at him as he dug through his wallet, hoping that the new card was there. He sighed when he realized that he hadn't opened his mail for a while. It was probably in the stack on his desk serving as a ramp to his sugar bowl. Hey, he was all about making life easier for his ant buddies.

The pretty redhead walked up behind him with a pair of inline skates in her hand. Scott wondered if Hope would be interested in learning to skate... He winced. She probably grew up roller skating. Maybe she'd like to take it up again?

"You can use your ATM card again," Juliana said, misinterpreting his grimace.

"Oh, I've got another card in here," Scott assured her.

He pulled out his second credit card and handed it over with his left hand as he put his right hand behind his back and crossed his fingers for luck. It worked. He could buy both radio controlled vehicles of mass destruction and get another twenty dollars back.

That left him twenty three dollars short of his goal. He also needed something else to buy while he was puttering around. Something that he could give to his ex-wife. Something that would be lovely and wouldn't necessarily scream "I was bought in a toy store!"

He found something for somebody else instead. Maggie would have to settle for a real Christmas present. He snatched his find up and strolled over to the cash register with his find in his hands. Actually, it was in his hand, because the box fit snugly in his palm.

"Oh, how cute!" Juliana said. "I was so tempted by that! I was surprised when nobody snatched it up when it went on sale." She looked up at him with a faint shadow of worry on her face.

"Yeah, I noticed that it was on sale," Scott looked at the miniature tea set in his hand. "It's adorable. Are they made of real porcelain?"

"Yes," Juliana said. "It would make an excellent gift for your daughter... Or is this for your ex-wife?"

"It's for my daughter," he said. "She'll get a kick out of having tea parties with her little friends." He didn't mention that Cassie's little friends were ants. Scott thought that the ants would like having a tea set that they could actually drink out of. He pulled out his working credit card, but then hesitated. He might be imagining that Juliana looked a little worried.

Scott didn't want to get her into trouble, not after she had stretched the rules in order to accommodate him. He still needed twenty-three dollars... Wait, the answer was right there... if he was willing to pay two dollars more than agreed upon.

He picked up one up and added it to his purchase.

Juliana looked so relieved when he didn't ask about getting cash back that Scott felt a little guilty

* * *

 **Chapter 9: The Cliffhanger!**

Scott betook himself out of the toy store before he went wild and/or bought that ant farm that had Spider-man's picture on it. Why the ant farm had a picture of Spider-man on it, he didn't know. Probably because there was no such thing as a spider farm? He wondered if, someday, the toy companies would make an Ant-Man ant farm.

There weren't any benches in the parking lot. However, there were several grassy islands, one with a spindly looking tree in it. Scott made himself as comfortable as possible. If anybody asked, he was waiting for his ride, which wasn't _exactly_ a lie.

It was not comfortable out there. Every few minutes, he did an inventory to make sure that he hadn't lost something, somehow, in the middle of a mostly empty parking lot. On the bright side, the pretty red head who had been in the store was skating through the parking lot, so at least he had something... festive... to look at. Yeah, let's go with festive.

This part he was not going to tell Hope about.

At 12:16, a Toyota minivan pulled into the parking lot. Scott sat up and crossed his fingers again. There had been three false alarms already. But this was it!

Luis's friend of an amigo of a cousin or whatever stepped out of his van. "You Scott?" he asked with as much suspicion as if they were up to something illegal.

"That's me," he said.

"Why have you out here?" the cousin asked. "Looks like you've already finished shopping."

"I did," Scott said. "Thing is, I just found out that there's a waiting list for the Agent Carter set."

"There is?" the cousin said incredulously. "I mean, sure there is..."

"No, you aren't jacking up the price," Scott said. "You don't want Luis mad at you."

The cousin-or-whatever shook his head. "I wasn't thinking that at all," he denied implausibly.

"Whatever," Scott said. "Anyway, I'm out here because I figured I could buy it directly from you and bypass the wait list entirely."

"Causing some poor little girl..." the cousin tried.

"Every one on that list is an adult buying the set for herself," Scott interrupted.

"Gotta pay me sixty three dollars in cash," muttered the cousin. "I can't take no credit cards."

"How about forty dollars in cash and a twenty-five dollar gift card for Toy Town, USA?"

"Sold," the cousin said. Which told Scott that he was overpaying, but the cousin was doing him a solid by bringing the toys back.

Money, gift card and the Agent Carter set changed hands. The cousin headed back off to wherever he had come from.

Scott fussed with his bags, trying to get them to balance so he could carry them on Donner. "Well, the shopping spree may have been a mistake," he muttered. "I didn't think about how to get them home."

"Maybe we can help you, Cowboy," a sultry voice suggested.

Scott looked up to politely decline assistance from the pretty redhead and found himself facing three Avengers.

* * *

To Be Concluded on Jan. 1, 2016!


	7. Chapter 10: The Grand Finale

**Chapter 10: The Grand Finale!**

Thanks to Qweb , AlyCat3, theoriginalbookthief07 and Guest for the positive reviews!

Thanks for reading, Artperf, bookishangel, Demi-Fae, Eira Day, Ima Kara Tabi e, kira kitty 21, La chica distraida, Leira857, MGA-Middy, molly2853, NoLiFe97, PhiraLostflame, phoenix saturne, Picu, Pirates16103, rakat14, Saqin, shikasgirl10, silveren, Singer Sira, SMH0217, Snowy19, SumGuyOvahDere, theoakleafbearer!

* * *

Scott Lang almost cursed when he found himself facing the pretty redhead, a very tall black man in highly recognizable armor. Oh, lord, that was Iron Patriot or War Machine... better think of him as Colonel Rhodes until he found out which the man preferred.

Speaking of recognizable, another black man stepped forward.

"Falcon," Scott said, subtly trying to get ready to shrink the Agent Carter set and make a break for it. (He'd hate to lose the other items, but the Agent Carter set was the important prize.) "Hi, long time, no see."

"Don't even think of running, Mr. Lang," Sam "Falcon" Wilson warned.

Well, hell.

"Actually, I was thinking of flying," Scott said. Shit, shit, shit, Scott thought. Fighting one Avenger when the fate of the world was at stake was one thing. Fighting three of them would be suicidal. Especially since the pretty redhead must be the Black Widow.

"So, how can I help the Avengers today?" he asked, trying to sound casual and self-assured.

"We wanted to know who you're working for," Col. James Rhodes said.

"Um, would you believe that the ants recruited me?" Scott said. "They needed a front man."

"Are you saying you don't know who Dr. Henry Pym is?" Falcon asked.

"No," Scott said blandly. "I can't say that the name is familiar."

"Who do you think you're fooling?" Falcon demanded. "Pym made your ant suit!"

The next thing Scott knew, there were flying ants everywhere. They must have thought that he was under physical attack. However, Scott almost had a heart attack, thinking that the Avengers were about to fry his friends.

Yes, the ants were his friends. Deal with it.

"Stop! Stop!" Scott said. "Don't smash them, they're only trying to help me!"

Widow froze in place. "Don't move!" she said. "No ant smashing!"

The two men froze in place and gave Widow incredulous looks.

"Call them off," Widow warned.

Scott was already putting the costume together. He used a toothpick to manipulate the controls so the costume grew to full size. He didn't bother with the suit. He just grabbed the helmet and slammed it on. "Back off! Back off!" he warned.

The flying ants flew away from the Avengers, but they didn't go far.

"Am I imaging things or did the tarmac just come to life?" War Machine asked.

"No, no, no!" Scott told his ground troops. "Back off!"

Obediently, the ants moved farther from the Avengers. Then they started circling, giving the impression of a living carpet.

"I feel like I'm in a John Wayne movie," complained Falcon. "You know, where the pioneers are being circled by prairie piranhas?"

"I'm pretty sure that John Wayne didn't work with piranhas," said War Machine. He gave Scott a puzzled look. "Why are you so worried about these ants?" he asked.

Scott shrugged. "They're my friends," he said. "No, I'm not crazy, but they work with me. They protect me and I have a responsibility not to get them killed for no reason."

The Avengers exchanged looks.

"Why did you stop us from smashing the ants?" War Machine asked Black Widow.

"I was just remembering how Loki said that humans were like ants to him," Widow said. "I don't want to be as indifferent to killing as he was."

"Thank you," Scott said. He sighed and closed his eyes so he could focus on sending the ants away.

When he opened them again, he couldn't see any ants. However, he knew they were lurking. They were all protective of him, especially Donner. He sighed again and held out his hand. "Fine, you got me," he groused. "I'll come along quietly, but my daughter had better get her gift!"

"Or what?" Falcon challenged, apparently out of curiosity.

Scott shot him a sideways look. "Or word gets leaked that an Avenger got beat by bugs," he said.

Nobody laughed, but two of the three Avengers were clearly suppressing smiles. Oddly enough, one of those two was Sam Wilson, because nobody reads the Black Widow if she doesn't want to be read!

"Put your hands down," Natasha said. "We aren't here to arrest you."

Scott lowered his hands and eyed them incredulously. "So, what do you want?" he asked, thinking that there was no way they'd invite him to join the Avengers.

"We want you to consider trying out for the Avengers," Wilson said. "You can mail in an application..." He pulled a sheet of paper and handed it to Scott. It was a slightly crumpled, but mostly filled out, generic job application.

Scott took it, feeling like he'd just fallen off a flying ant. "Um..."

"No need to thank us," War Machine said. "Just mail it here," he handed Scott a card with the address of Stark's HR department. "We've let them know to keep an eye out for applications for Avengers."

"Why not have me mail this to you directly?" Scott asked.

"Because they don't want anybody to know that we had anything to do with this," the Black Widow was amused.

"So, are you going to try to join?" Falcon asked.

"Well, hell, yes," Scott said eagerly. "I mean, jeez, I feel like Christmas came early!"

"Nope," Falcon said, a hint of humor crossing his face. "We deliberately chose the day after Thanksgiving."

A look of horror crossed War Machine's face. "Don't say it, Wilson!" he warned.

The Black Widow rolled her eyes as Falcon said. "This is what I call Black Friday!"

"He said it," War Machine said, shaking his head.

"And on that note, I think I'd better fly," Scott said. He wasn't sure why the Avengers weren't going to arrest him or pound him and he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Therefore, he hit his packages with Pym particles and instructed his ants to grab one each and fly off with them.

He heard Widow exclaim as he flew out of sight, "Do you have any idea how much women would pay to be able to lose weight that fast?"

 **Epilogue** :

Natasha didn't look at them, but she could tell the two men had exchanged a smirk. Instead of getting angry, she said, far too casually, "Do you know why the day after Thanksgiving is called Black Friday? I mean, the real reason?"

She sat down and took off her skates.

Sam and Rhodey exchanged worried looks.

"It's because this is the beginning of the Christmas shopping season," Sam said cautiously. "People start spending big and that puts all the retail stores back in the black."

"Do you know what the day after Christmas is called?" Natasha asked idly as she put her regular shoes back on.

"Boxing day," Rhodey said. "Because it's when people box up the gifts they didn't like so they can return them to the store."

"Do you know when boxing day is for me?" Natasha asked.

"Um, no?" Sam asked, getting ready to fly.

"Every day," Natasha said with an evil grin. "Now, back to headquarters or Black Friday becomes Black and Blue Friday."

"Ma'm! Yes, ma'm!" the two military men chorused just before they jetted off.

"Next time don't smirk when a lady mentions her weight," Natasha called after them. She started back for her motorcycle, then hesitated. This might be a good time to buy some presents for her niece and nephews. She looked in the direction the other two had gone and debated how long to wait before she called to let them know she had been delayed. She didn't want them to sweat for _too_ long. Santa was watching, after all.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

A/N: All toys mentioned, except the Agent Carter vs. Madam Hydra set are real. Too bad, because I would have loved to get one!

A/N 2: None of the characters belong to me except Juliana.

A/N 3: Happy Holidays!


End file.
